Slow your roll and gratitude.

Today I had the immense privilege to doula for a friend, to help welcome their sweet son into the world. To shed happy tears when he was placed on her chest and to listen to his sweet little newborn cries. To watch two happy parents with their love swelling for one another and for their new baby. To hear them whisper how much they already love him and how they will take care of him. What an honor to be a part of such special first moments.

I was thinking about how newborn cries fade into cooing.... that fade into belly laughs....that fade into babbling....that all of the sudden turn into words and sentences and much, much more.

Piper just turned 5 months old the other day, I feel like I was just holding her to my chest when she was born and listening to her sweet little newborn cry. But, those sweet little cries are in the past now, only in my memory and when I hear another little newborn cry it transports me back there.




Now, we have full on belly laughs (which are SO FUN) and babbling and her learning how to make different sounds with her mouth. All of the exploring and changing she is doing is so fun. But, sometimes I just want to snuggle her and tell her not to get any bigger. Can I do that?

Can't I keep her small for a little longer?






 I think Clayton asked Hannah if she would not get any bigger a while ago, but yet, she gets bigger and older every single day.

Since I know she is only going to continue to get bigger it makes me treasure nursing her to sleep at nap and then laying next to her watching her sleep. Enjoying her open, relaxed hands and her completely content face.

I can make a complete fool out of myself to make her laugh, to hear and enjoy those joyful sounds and her big toothless grin. To let her grab my face and give me big slobbery kisses. To blow raspberries on her belly and get more laughs. To watch Lucy and Hannah do their own special things to make their sister laugh. It's all such a joy to experience in the moment.

Let's be clear, all of the moments aren't unicorns and rainbows. But after reading 1,000 Gifts by Ann Voskamp I am reminded that counting these little blessings in life are what brings contentment and joy in our life. To see these things for what they are, little things that later we realize were the big things is to help us to enjoy life to the fullest. To not always be looking to the next "best" thing. I am as guilty of it as the next, to be thinking about what the future holds, instead of enjoying the moment God has placed me in now. The good ones, the hard ones, the funny ones, the sad ones and the snuggly ones. They are all moments to be treasured.

Take a moment today to write down 5 things that happen today that are little blessings. Ones that you may not have thought of as being a "blessing" but that if you were to look back on it, it would bring a tear to your eye or a smile to your heart.

Like me calling Piper Stinky McStinkerton when she needed a diaper change and the smile and laugh that came after that. Dirty diaper, a blessing? Ha, well maybe not so much, but that moment was! It is all dependent on the view in which you are looking at the situation. Do all dirty diapers illicit this response in me? Well no, of course not. But sometimes when I slow down and look around, there are so many things to be thankful for, that normally I just pass by.

So here's to counting more blessings every day and enjoying the joy and contentment that come from practicing seeing these moments.

So here are my 5 things today.
1. Lying next to a sleeping, content, Piper
2. The moment a mom holds her newborn baby.
3. Newborn baby cries.
4. Piper's Belly laugh when I kiss her
5. Lucy and Hannah loving each other with genuine words of praise.

Thinking about the Very Last Time

 I don't know about you, but there are some days that I wish I didn't have to change a stinky diaper, or fix something that Hannah can't quite do for the seemingly zillionth time. To wish that they were a little older and self sufficient, if I'm being honest, sometimes I want that.

But, other times I don't, other times, I enjoy helping Piper fall asleep by nursing her and laying next to her in bed and looking at her beautiful, peaceful face as she sleeps and I suddenly want time to stop, so that I can enjoy these sweet moments.

Sometimes, I don't want Hannah to get any bigger, or to lose that little girl voice that she has, and I definitely don't want her to lose the way that her lips take such care to form words, flaring out from her mouth more than they need to, but it is so cute.

Other times, I don't want Lucy to get any bigger because she is already so grown up, now that I have sent her off to Kindergarten I realize that I miss those times when she was smaller. I wish that I had spent more time enjoying her when she was little and not wishing her to grow up a little more and be more independent.


So, for now, I'll remind my sometimes tired mommy self to enjoy Lucy learning to read and helping her with her homework. I'll teach Hannah how to learn to control her big emotions (which some are good, like how much she cares) and enjoy that she wears a princess dress 6 out of 7 days a week usually and that even when she's in pajamas she has a crown on her head. I'll try to enjoy the middle of the night wakeups with Piper, because I know she won't be little long and right now she is so dependent on me. And, oh.so.sweet.

It is ok sometimes to wish for the next stage, but I want to remember to enjoy and be content in the stage that I'm in. Because sending Lucy off to Kindergarten made me realize just how short those times are. It made me sad that I won't have as many of those times with Lucy anymore because she is in school all day.

Does that mean I succeed at this all the time, heck no. But, I'm glad that I am more aware.

I'm leaving you with a poem that talks about the last times, because it really struck me and I hope it hits you right in the feels too.

But first, some pictures, to remind me just how special my sweet girls are. Poem is below the pictures.

THE VERY LAST TIME

From the moment you hold your baby in your arms you will never be the same
You might long for the person you were before 
When you had freedom and time
And nothing in particular to worry about
You will know tiredness like you never knew it before
And days will run into days that are exactly the same
Full of feedings and burping
Nappy changes and crying
Whining and fighting
Naps or a lack of naps
It might seem like a never-ending cycle

But don’t forget….
There is a last time for everything
There will come a time when you will feed your baby for the very last time
They will fall asleep on you after a long day
And it will be the last time you ever hold your sleeping child
One day you will carry them on your hip then set them down 
And never pick them up that way again
You will scrub their hair in the bath one night
And from that day on they will want to bathe alone
They will hold your hand to cross the road 
Then never reach for it again
They will creep into your room at midnight for cuddles
And it will be the last night you ever wake to this
One afternoon you will sing “the wheels on the bus” and do all the actions
Then never sing them that song again
They will kiss you goodbye at the school gate 
The next day they will ask to walk to the gate alone
You will read a final bedtime story and wipe your last dirty face
They will run to you with arms raised for the very last time.

The thing is, you won’t even know it’s the last time 
Until there are no more times. And even then, it will take you a while to realise.

So while you are living in these times, remember there are only so many of them and when they are gone, you will yearn for just one more day of them.
For one last time.
-Author Unknown

Piper is 4 months old!

How is it possible that my baby is getting so big? No, really, she isn't little.

We had her 4 month checkup yesterday and she was 16 lbs 8 oz (89%) and 26.5 inches (96%), she is a big kid.

She is also, so so sweet. She is smiley, happy, talkative and so peaceful. She is such a Joy that God has given us and we are trying to soak in all of her sweet baby stage ;)

Here is her 4 month picture!